I heard it said that God answers prayers one of 3 ways: "Yes", "No" or "Not yet". So I guess we got a NO then. This is not easy to have peace with, knowing that God said no to my pleadings and cries to heal Jivenson. I've experienced God not answering my prayers the way I wanted Him to before, but it was always for someone else. This time the prayers and pleading were for my own son and I felt like I was fighting for that precious life. Yet, I think that if I truly believe in God the Creator then I must believe that Jivenson's precious life meant even more to God because He created it. This is one of the mysteries of God that I am struggling with right now, the impossible pursuit to know God's mind and to fully see this world the way He sees it. With the limited capacity of this human body and mind, I never will.
This is where my faith feels strained, pushed to the edge and overworked.
Yet, inside that difficult and sometimes cynical place, God is. He just is.
God did heal Son. HE healed him HIS way, not our medical, earthly way. I cannot even imagine... holding you up in prayer. <3, Berni
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