Where we are....

We've been getting the "where are you in the process" question quite a bit, so I'd like to answer that here. Our dossier is done and is with our agency. We are still waiting on our Home Study though, this has taken much longer than it should have and is getting frustrating. The reason it has taken this long has been affected by both factors in our control and factors outside of our control. Our part is done and now we just have to wait for it, this is hard and only the beginning of our waiting. Once we have our HS done, then we can send it along to our agency to have it translated, we can apply for US permission for our boys to come to the states, this is called the I600A form, and then we can also apply for interest free loans and grants. Once our dossier is in Haiti I will be able to breath a little better. It will go into what's called IBESR. It's kind of like a Dept. of family and children's services...this has been closed for a while because they want to get the backlogged cases sorted through before they move forward. Our hope and prayer is that our dossier will be translated and sent down to Haiti before they reopen in early August, and will be in the pile and get processed through quickly. This is scary and time is not on our side but we are still trusting in God's perfect timing, no matter how outside our personal timeline that may be. We miss our boys terribly...a hole is felt in this house as long as they are still not here to fill it. Melat has told us that she will do any paperwork we need or help us get money so the boys can come home:) The next time we will be able to travel to Haiti will be for court that we will need to be present for. This won't be until early 2013, or later. We are thankful for pictures, videos and Skype until then. Oh and some great news is that Guerlens is walking! He started 11 days after we left Haiti..I was praying he would take those first steps when we were there but he saved them for later. We Skyped so we could see him walk and of course he had absolutely no interest in walking but wanted to be held instead...true to form.:)

Chip In at right..

If you come to this blog at all, you've probably noticed the Chip-In widget on the right side of the page. Several people have asked about where we are in the process but also how much $ we still need to raise. We thought the Chip-In meter would be the best way to gauge the cost remaining and for people to give if they choose to. It's very easy to use and will automatically track our progress. This figure of $8,000 is based on agency/International fees that are needed as soon as possible.

Son Son

When Jivenson's 2nd birthday came last year, we talked about doing something of remembrance for him, something that would last and would be shared between us. We decided to get tattoos, each of us sharing a "Son" and when put together would be our SonSon. It got put off...then the first anniversary of his death came and we planned to do it that night, but something came up with a friend and we were unable to go. One week later we finally were able to do it. It was a little painful but so short and when we were done it just felt right:) And since the pic seems unclear as to where we got them, they are on our right ankles:)

One Year

Today marks 1 year since Jivenson passed away...June 4th 2011. It seems impossible to believe that one year has actually passed and even more impossible to believe where we are now. We would never have dreamed this up...that after losing one little boy, we would be blessed with two. We've watched the video Kevin made in tribute to Jivenson and we've all cried, the girls included. It's amazing to me how acutely they still feel that loss, especially Wesli. They still refer to him as their little brother. We all still feel it. And right now it's coupled with that loss we're experiencing Post-Haiti. We're just letting ourselves wallow in it, letting ourselves fully feel it all, every emotion...then we'll move on. Move onto more paperwork, waiting and dreaming of our family of 6 finally coming together...one day.

Our boys and Haiti

Oh Haiti...how we love it there and how we loved being with both of our boys!Caleb was so overjoyed to have his brother with him and he liked calling us Momma Jessica and Papa Kevin...then it changed to Mommy and Daddy:) What a kid he is! So full of life, bouncing from one thing to the next, so easy to laugh and what a laugh it is! We were so excited that while we were there, the kids moved into the new orphanage! Moving from a container that was very small to a big building with open spaces and separate girls, boys and baby rooms was amazing to watch and the kids were thrilled! as were the nannies!:) The walls are brightly colored...the girls have pink walls with a princess theme and the boys have blue walls with a Cars theme. It's such a wonderful space and knowing that this is where our boys will be living was such a comfort when we had to leave. That was a hard day and it's been such an adjustment being home. Everyday life is different and we feel such a fervor to bring our boys home as soon as we can! We are praying for the timing to be perfect and that everything that is needed, financially and paperwork wise, will come through. We just love these boys so much! The first day we were there, we just sat in the play area outside with the kids. I was just watching Caleb playing and listening to his voice and I could just see him in our home, in our family and it felt like such a confirmation that these boys are ours! What a gift!

NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY GOODYE!

Sent out our dossier today and I will NOT miss seeing that pile of papers just staring me down every day! Thank God it is gone! Now we will hope and pray that everything is right and that nothing will need to be redone. We are still waiting on our finalized Home Study and our hope is that it will not take more than a couple weeks to have that in hand. I was almost giddy picking up that last letter we needed and taking that whole stack of our life on paper and mailing it out to our agency. My stomach was in knots with anxiety about it all but there is also a sense of relief that we are one step closer to our boys!

1 month until Haiti

In one month today we'll be in Haiti. We fly out May 18th with Mallery and Frentz and we'll finally be with both of our boys. This is incredibly bittersweet...because we know they will not be able to come home for a long time. It could be 12-18 months. Compiling our dossier has not gone as we planned and the timing is not what we expected. This has been the busiest season Kevin has ever experienced in his job, perhaps ever in a job. The travel volume has been much too high and has made it challenging to gather our documents in a timely manner. All frustrating...some of it within our control, some of it not. We are waiting on one final piece right now and our prayer is that that dossier, which has now become my nemesis, will be out of our hands and on to our agency before out trip. It will be translated and then head to Haiti. I cannot wait for that moment when we know it is there. There's a sense of security, however false it may be, in knowing our life on paper is in the hands of the people who will move our case along and get us closer to bringing our 2 precious boys home. The waiting now will be nothing compared to the waiting that is to come. I remember what that was like with Melat...knowing her name, her face, that she was ours but we still had to endure that waiting. I've been reading a book called Dangerous Wonder. It's about faith, childlike faith, and how as adults that pure faith and trust gets replaced by responsibility, business and the noise of this world. The author encourages us to embrace "play", to recapture it and begin to see the world through God's eyes. One thing the author ponders is the idea that God can be a playful God. We are made in His image after all. He talks about God hiding, then popping out unexpectantly in our lives....He hides even in the pain and suffering and shows up in ways we never imagined. It's not that He's not there, we just don't always see Him...not yet anyway. I now imagine God hiding in the "waiting", that time of difficulty we'll experience being separated from our 2 other children, and when the time is right we'll see Him, we'll be reminded how present He really is. Just love this pic of our sweet boy Caleb who turned 4 in February. Can't wait to meet him!